A BIT ABOUT THE MISTER AMORE

The first time I saw Mister Amore was early February 2018 at a rescue in the Bay Area.

During Mister Amore’s 9 months of being adoptable at the rescue, he was often running, moving very fast, pacing, jumping, whining, barking and when humans tried to pet him, he displaying giant half-moon whale eyes, ears pinned way back, lip licking, very tense, and cowering - this seemed to strongly suggest a lot of Fear, Anxiety, Stress, and other sensitivities, especially handling sensitivities – this did not go so well with humans who did not observe or respect the emotions and feelings expressed through his body language and proceeded with practicing the well-meaning traditional human custom of showing love to dogs by petting them, especially reaching over the top and on the head.

Mister Amore can be very good at anticipating things, and he can be a very quick learner who seems to have good memory.

Among many other things, he seems to greatly appreciate having choice + an understanding and respect of his preferences and sensitivities.

Before I gave in to doing an overnight foster with the hopes of failing spectacularly, it took 9 months of watching him be unsuccessful and misunderstood in countless meet and greets with potential adopters + unsuccessful and misunderstood during countless interactions with volunteers and shelter staff + a lot of behavioral deterioration over 9 months at the rescue.

The traditional shelter and rescue environment can be hard for dogs with Fear, Anxiety, Stress, and other sensitivities.

Mister Amore often struggled in the traditional shelter and rescue environment. He also struggled with meeting the expectations of “being a normal dog”, and for some it seemed difficult to understand.

During his 9 months of being adoptable, I witnessed countless misunderstandings of his incredible amounts of emotions and feelings, despite his incredible expressiveness.

When we met in early February 2018, I was heavily involved with running playgroups at the shelter (first as a volunteer, then hired on as staff mid-year 2018), and since I started learnng about Low Stress Handling in 2017, I began having success with dogs experiencing Fear, Anxiety, Stress, especially the most extreme cases with dogs having hard time connecting with other humans, dogs, and the world in general.

Instead of being like the countless other humans who insisted on their right to petting him while he was displaying giant half-moon whale eyes, ears pinned way back, lip licking, and cowering, I practiced observing his body language - often physically getting on Mister Amore’s level, also meeting him on an emotional level by giving him space when his body language indicated discomfort, and using high value food rewards at very particular times was very helpful for developing a relationship with him. Instead of invading his space, and physically overpowering him, I consistently practiced inviting him into my space and asking him for cooperation, consent, and observing his body language and behavior in the present moment to see how he feels about our interaction, so I can adjust my behavior accordingly. Much like so many of the longest tenured shelter residents and other dogs with sensitivities, Mister Amore seemed to greatly appreciate Low Stress Handling practices.

In Mister Amore’s case, he seemed to enjoy jumping into my arms when I kneeled (our emergency recall/for getting away from danger), we worked up to practicing a lot off leash work while walking the halls of the rescue, and he would have a very noticeable reaction when he saw me or heard my voice – it was obvious for all to see, but for 9 months I tried to keep my heart closed.

It was hard for me to know about his lack of choice + the lack of respect for his tremendous amounts of emotions and feelings. It was also very hard for me to know that he was still getting toweled to be moved out of room, shoved into crates despite having 4 paws braced on the door in protest, and not being allowed to pee and poo away from where he eats and sleeps – all despite my best efforts using Low Stress Handling to demonstrate and share a better way, in efforts raise the standard of care for the organization.

In the playgroups, Mister Amore was usually incredibly social with the other dogs, but there are times when he wants his space and does not want to participate. When he did not like something another dog was doing, he often expressed his emotions and feelings, sometimes quite vocally - there were times that made me a bit nervous with the growling, barking, lunging, snapping, but it always seemed like there was a very specific reason why he did it, and he did not go past a certain point which seems to indicate a certain level of self-control. He also seemed to know when it was safe to approach another dog, and when to stay away – When there was a new dog, we worked together to test the potential sociability of new dogs. We have tested the potential sociability of many hundreds of dogs, including dogs known to have a history of aggression, resource guarding, and reactivity – this seems to be another area where Mister Amore’s incredible sensitivities can be channeled for useful things.

During the 9 months he was adoptable, when he was in his room, he would often growl, bark, and lunge at passing humans and dogs. During in-room interactions with humans, he learned that displaying giant half-moon whale eyes, ears pinned way back, lip licking, running away, and cowering did not work, so he escalated to barking, growling, lunging, snapping, and he found it often worked better for getting the distance he so greatly desired. A lot of humans wanted to pet him, but he was clearly not comfortable with petting and handling in general.

He displayed resource guarding of food, toys, people, other dogs, towards both humans and dogs. If given a soft fluffy bed, he would shred and gut the bed. After a while, he was alone in a room with no toys, no bedding, and a very small circle of humans that were able to bring him to the yard and/or have a successful in-room interaction with him.

After 9 months of a lot of behavioral deterioration, we did an overnight foster with the hopes of failing spectacularly and it was a great success.

I very quickly learned that in addition to the already known laundry list of behavior problems, Mister Amore also had A LOT of severe separation related behaviors - something I had almost zero experience with! Juggling his already known laundry list of behavior problems + adding A LOT of severe separation related behaviors was a lot. There can be a lot of emotions, on both sides! We have made a lot of progress, but we are not perfect - there are still things we work on daily to continue developing our relationship + help him be as happy and comfortable as possible.

Behavior change can be nonlinear, and at times, there can be a lot of emotions on both sides, but of all the incredible canine teachers I’ve had the privilege of sharing time and space with, the Mister Amore clearly stands out as #1.

Learning that behavior change can be nonlinear, and learning to be the advocate and stable base that Mister Amore can rely on is very ongoing. I do my best to remind myself: I am doing the best I can with what I have, and for that to be enough + to also give the kindness I give dogs to myself.  

While other humans may have difficulty understanding and can be less than supportive at times, Mister Amore’s continued teachings and support are instrumental for me with practicing the Low Stress Handling and Fear Free lifestyle + continued learning and growing as a dog professional.

During his time at the shelter, Mister Amore consistently demonstrated how he can be extremely good at alert barking and alarm barking. Combined with his incredible amounts of sensitivities, these alert and alarm behaviors can be not so great in certain situations. However, we’ve found that learning to acknowledge and channel his alerts, alarms, sensitivities, emotions and feelings towards other things such as alerting me to my Fear, Anxiety, Stress, when I need to eat, when I need to sleep, when I am acting funny, etc can be incredibly useful – this makes it so Mister Amore can effectively function as my psychiatric service dog, and every day is another opportunity for us to continue learning and growing together!

At times, humans vilify other humans who surrender their beloved Canine Family Member to the shelter and rescue system, and I hope we can all reconsider our urges to shame and blame people who are likely doing the best they can with what they have at the time.

From what I gathered, Mister Amore’s backstory is that he was surrendered to another shelter by a woman who was scheduled for a surgery or had some kind of medical stuff going on that made it so she was unable to take care of Mister Amore, his 2 brothers, and their mom.

Madam, thank you for responsibly surrendering your Canine Family Members to the shelter and rescue system – it’s hard for me to imagine how incredibly painful that must have been and might still be, but I am so grateful for your efforts to give your Canine Family Members a chance at a better life!

The shelter and rescue system is far from perfect and leaves a lot to be desired, but it made it possible for me to meet Mister Amore, and if I didn’t meet him, who knows where I would be right now!

While a lot of dogs definitely do get surrendered to shelters and rescues for behavior problems, every dog is their own unique individual, and by no fault of their own, a lot of incredible dogs get surrendered and put into the shelter/rescue system, because the human who loves them is unable to properly care for them - even if surrendering their Canine Family Member may be the most painful thing they have ever done, they still do it, because they are doing the best they can with what they have at the time, and they absolutely know their beloved Canine Family Member has a better chance at a happy and successful life.

When his previous human surrendered Mister Amore with his 2 brothers and his mom, she gave them an opportunity for a better life. Without her actions, I would not have the privilege of sharing my life with Mister Amore. He is my life partner, my teammate, my business partner, my best friend, he is so many things, and he means so incredibly much to me. Our relationship is the by far the closest relationship I have ever had with another living being. I can't imagine a life without him – he is the incredible teacher, best friend and life partner who motivates me to continue working on myself so I can fully show up for him and do my best every day to meet his physical, mental, and emotional needs, so he can have a happy, comfortable, successful life.

All over the world, there are countless dogs currently in shelter and rescue systems who are hoping and waiting for the right person to be their world!

While I very strongly recommend looking to adopt, a lot of amazing dogs also come from responsible breeders!

For both adopting and buying - please do it responsibly!